"If I Were A..."

So I was going back through old blog posts, getting rid of shitty content and generally cleaning things up a bit when I came across this post. I thought it would be fun to update with what I would be now, almost two years later.

-If I were a month I would be: October. (still the same answer)
-If I were a day of the week I would be: Thursday. I really have no reason for this. I just feel like a Thursday. (also the same) -If I were a time of day I would be: Sunset (I have too many early mornings now to want to be sunrise) -If I were a planet I would be: Mars (same. God of War. Always angry. Me.) -If I were an article of clothing: A pair of thick, warm, fuzzy socks (the blanket of clothing) -If I were a direction I would be: West (I'm dreaming of the west coast lately) -If I were a piece of furniture I would be: A chaise lounge (a little antiquated, a little uncomfortable, but oh so luxe)
-If I were a historical figure I would be: Sylvia Plath (same)-If I were a drink I would be: Red wine (sweet, semi-sweet at the worst) -If I were a stone, I would be: Opal (same) -If I were a room, I would be: A luxurious bathroom (same) -If I were a bird, I would be: Raven (I've gotten much darker. Nevermore) -If I were a tool, I would be: Electric Sander (same) -If I were a flower/plant I would be: Venus Fly Trap (I'll kill you if you touch me) -If I were a kind of weather I would be: Sunny, but with a chill in the air (same) -If I were a mythical creature I would be: Siren (like a mermaid, but deadlier) -If I were a musical instrument, I would be: Tambourine (same)-If I were an animal, I would be: Fox (also my patronus, btw) -If I were a color, I would be: Black (same. maybe forest green or eggplant some days) -If I were an emotion, I would be: Rage (default emotion) -If I were a vegetable, I would be: French cut green beans (what?) -If I were a sound, I would be: Ocean waves in the early morning (same) -If I were a car, I would be: Toyota Prius -If I were a song, I would be: "Believe" by Mumford and Sons (check it out) -If I were a movie, I would be directed by: Tim Burton (always and forever my answer) -If I were a book, I would be written by: Chuck Palahniuk (or Sylvia Plath) -If I were a food, I would be: A strong, aged cheese drizzled with honey (paired w/ wine) -If I were a place, I would be: South of France (same) -If I were a material, I would be: Velvet (same) -If I were a taste, I would be: Cotton Candy (wtf would I have said citrus?)-If I were a scent, I would be: Mahogany (and leather-bound books) -If I were a word, I would be: Obstinate (because I am a little bit) -If I were an object, I would be: Paperweight (same. I think) -If I were a body part I would be: Eyes (they give away everything) -If I were a facial expression I would be: My "Are your fucking serious" face - one furrowed brow, one raise, nostrils slightly flared, tight lips, tilted head (I hope you can picture i perfectly) -If I were a subject in school I would be: Literary Women (what up, ladies?) -If I were a shape I would be: Cube (not the iced version either) -If I were a number I would be: 25 (I still like 12, but 25 seems more accurate now) 

Try Dry.

As an Influenster, I occasionally get sent products to try and review. I got sent Degree's new dry spray deodorant AGES ago and I'm just now getting around to review it. There are reasons for that. 

The reasons are I don't wear deodorant too often (ewww) and I like to properly test items before I review them. I don't like wearing deodorant because most of the chemicals don't seem to interact well with my body's natural chemistry and makes me smell even worse. I also find they don't really stop me from sweating. 

The Fresh Energy scent isn't too overpowering and doesn't actually make me stink, which is a plus! I also like the spray application. It doesn't leave my underarms wet. I can immediately put clothes on or I can spray it on under the short I already have on without it marking up my clothes! I find it works about as well as a normal Degree deodorant (which is my deodorant of choice anyhow). Keeps me dry up to a point. I might purchase it again, but I'm doing my best to go completely cruelty-free, so I'm looking into other deodorant options. 

However, if that's not something you worry about (and I promise that's not as judge-y as it seems) I'd recommend this. Like I said, it works just as well as normal stick deodorants, but applies completely dry. And it doesn't actually touch your pits, which is a huge advantage over stick deodorant! 

xxx

Guess Who's Back?

ME!!! 

Well, it's not like I went anywhere, but I just got out of blogging and focused on Instagram more (be sure to follow me there, btw - @champagnetastesbeerbudget). But I'm getting back in the business! And I need your help. What sort of stuff would you like to see? Reviews, obviously, but is there anything else? I've been toying with the idea of starting a youtube channel for reviews/hauls, but EVERYONE and their mother's dog has a channel. Plus I don't know if I'd be able to listen to the sound of my voice that long.

So I want your opinions. Leave a comment about the sort of content you'd like to see from me. It can be anything. Seriously. I might not do it, but I appreciate all input.

PS - I was just looking back at previous posts and I noticed I came back from another hiatus around this time last year. I suck! But I really want to do better, so please help me.

xxx,
- Mallory

Neutrogena Hydro Boost VoxBox Review

As an Influenster, I was sent Neutrogena's new Hydro Boost Water Gel to test out and review. 

I wanted to thoroughly test it out before I wrote my review, so I've been using it for about a month now. 

It's a light blue gel-cream hybrid that's supposed to "instantly quench skin and keep it looking smooth, supple, and hydrated, day after day." It contains hyaluronic acid, which is supposed to be great for dry skin. 

I have dry, sensitive skin. It was a little sticky immediately after application but then sinks into the skin and really does leave it feeling smooth. But for me, it didn't leave me hydrated and seemed to make my dry, flaky skin worse. Like I said, I have sensitive skin, so maybe something just didn't agree with me. I have crazy reactions to lots of different products, I haven't been able to narrow it down to any specific ingredient. 

I honestly feel like this would be better for outlier skin types. The gel provides hydration without being too heavy, but really doesn't quench thirsty skin like I hoped it would. Unfortunately, I can't personally recommend it for my dry-skin kinfolk. 

Have any of you tried the Neutrogena Hydro Boost? What did you think? Let us know in the comments! 

xxx

Bold Ass Brows

Guys. GUYS. I have a life-changing product to tell you about. I've been meaning to tell you about it since I got it, but well, I've not felt like blogging much.

Dipbrow Pomade in Dark Brown

BUT FOR REAL. This has changed my life and it's not even an exaggeration. Anastasia Beverly Hills Dipbrow Pomade. This product has made my life infinitely better. If I could only buy one cosmetic the rest of my life, it would be this.

My brows are a MESS currently. The last wax I got was a disaster, she went way too thin and I looked like one of THOSE people. People with bad brows. You know the ones. So I'm letting them grow wild and free until I figure out a place that is actually going to listen to me when I tell them I don't want them thinned out, just cleaned up.

Anyway, enter this product. The Dipbrow Pomade. I purchased mine in Dark Brown and it's a perfect match. I use the e.l.f. Studio Small Angled Brush to apply. A little seriously goes a LONG way. I got a little too much on the brush the first time I used it and had Peter Gallagher brows. He has a strong brow game, but really wasn't what I was going for. After using quick, small strokes to fill in and shape my brows, I use one of those little spoolie brushes just to blend it in a little bit and make it look natural.

A picture is worth a thousand words, right?

Left: Product Right: None

Ok, so my face is incredibly asymmetrical, but ignoring that fact. LOOK AT THE DIFFERENCE. My left brow looks so polished and put together while my right brow is partying and seems to be missing the middle section. Not even I know what's going on there. 

In short, get this product. You can give yourself bold ass brows, like I prefer, or use a little less for a light look. It's $18, but honestly, it's going to last me quite a while. It's totally worth it. Totally. I'd probably even be willing to pay a little more for it, it's that good. Luckily, I don't have to. 

The Anastasia Dipbrow Pomade comes in 5 shades, so most of you guys and gals should be able to find a match. Do it. Change your life. 

xx

I got Naked with Herbal Essences and Influenster

So I'm a proud member of Influenster, where you can unlock badges related to your interests (mine are decorating, pet, and beauty products, mostly) and if you have enough social media clout and meet the requirements they're looking for (found out via email survey) you'll get a box of goodies sent to you to test out and review. I recently got sent a box with Herbal Essences naked Moisture shampoo & conditioner, as well as the naked dry shampoo. 

Super excited to see this in the mailbox

The Herbal Essences naked line comes in three flavors - shine, volume, and moisture. As I said, I got sent the moisture shampoo and conditioner to try. According to the HE website, the naked line is "free of heavy residues, parabens, and dyes." I've been testing these for about a week and a half now, and want to share my thoughts.

The goodies!

The moisture version like smells like mint and lavender, I believe. It's got a really pleasant scent. I currently work in a deli, so when I get off work I'm a smelly, sweaty mess. I smell of fried chicken and meats. so it's important to me that my hair products smell good and actually get rid of the food smell. Trust me, the smell of grease permeates hair. BUT, this shampoo and conditioner does a really good job of making my hair smell fresh.

Shampoo

As you can see, the shampoo is clear - you know, the whole "no dyes" thing.

Conditioner

My hair is pretty healthy, since I got it chopped off not too long ago, so I don't really NEED a moisture shampoo. Heck, even when I needed one I still opted for a volume/body shampoo. Priorities. But, this definitely left my hair soft, clean, and smelling good. It was, perhaps, a little too heavy for my fine hair. This might be something I try again in the winter, when my hair needs some added moisture. 

Dry shampoo

I really like the dry shampoo - and BONUS - it was full sized :) It gives my hair a little volume and texture on days that I let it air dry, and it revives my second day hair rather nicely and prevents me from feeling like a grease monster. Plus, any bedhead I might have, this takes care of it.

I really like the naked line from Herbal Essences. I probably won't be repurchasing the moisture line until winter, because that's when I need moisture the most. I've used the volume version of the shampoo and conditioner before and really liked it. I definitely recommend trying this line out when you need to get some new hair products.



xx

Ariel Knows.

How perfect is this? Ariel knows what's up.

And a quick note - I know my posts have been lacking. School is KILLING me at the moment. Also, I haven't been really buying beauty related items. I've got a few things to talk about though. Look for that within the next coming days, my school work is winding down, so I should have some time to spare.